The true scale of our financial mess

I didn't realise we were this badly fucked.

Here.

If it looks like...

If it looks like a cunt and it dribbles like a cunt, it probably is a cunt Labour health secretary.

Bicycles have lights for a reason

And this is it.  Dozy twat.

Some good news for a change

Just over a year ago, this piece of shit:

broke into a man's house with an accomplice in order to burgle the place.  The homeowner was, understandably, a little miffed about this and stabbed the thieving cunts quite a bit.  So much in fact that one was in hospital and one, the ugly cunt in the picture, died.  Aaaaah, what a fucking pity.

The CPS, mindless cunts that they are, decided to prosecute the homeowner for murder instead of recommending him for a medal.

Well now it seems that common sense has prevailed a little; the CPS have now said that they

will not contest his not guilty plea. 

Well it's about time.  He should never have been charged in the first place, and you bunch of cunts have now realised how wrong you were.  I hope he sues the shit out of you for putting him through a year's worth of worry and anguish.  He fucking deserves it.  You cunts.

Insufficient Expletives

What the fucking pikey gippo scum leave behind

There are not enough fucks, cunts, wankers and shits in the world to sum this shit up.  These fucking pikey, gippo cunts do nothing except steal from society without putting fucking anything back into it and the fucking cunting fucking cunts are to get massive fucking loans for fucking free?  And THEY get to set the fucking repayment plan?  So that they

will eventuellers-ally (sic) own the land and have a sense of ownership.

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

CUNTING FUCKING CUNTING FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!

Prejudiced Police Pinch Perky Penis

Some dozy cunt without a sense of humour whinges to the police about a 4-foot concrete penis and they cuntfiscate it.  Talk about penis envy.  Humourless cunts.

Laughing at the misfortune of others

We all do it, and we all enjoy it.  Unless it's about us, of course, in which case we whine and bitch about it and involve national organisations.

Sorry love, but if you go to a Frankie Boyle gig and laugh at his jokes about other peoples' misfortune you've got absolutely no fucking right at all, none whatsoever, to feel offended when he has a go at the brand of retard that in some way affects you personally.

And to the spokesmong of the Mong Association, all I want to say is: mongs, like most brands of retard, are just a drain on society and we'll all be better off when we manage to eradicate the causes of them.  Until we have, kindly stop being chronically offended about the humour that is to be found in retards.  Mongs, spackers and flids are just plain funny.

Downright thievery

Just saw an ad on TV that astonished me.  A company called QuickQuid flogging short term loans at usurious rates.  The TV caption said "Typical 2356% APR" but surely that's a mistake thought I.

Nope.

A whole morning to say one thing?

Jesus Fucking H Christ, the BBC have gone completely mental this morning.  We all knew yesterday that cuntface had called the election for May 6th.  BBC1 is on air all fucking morning repeating itself ad nauseam.  There was just a whole ten minute slot devoted to the Queen arriving at Buck House by helicopter for fuck's sake.

I've been looking forward to this election for ages but the next month is going to be so depressing.  Which slightly right of centre party will win?  They're both the fucking same.

Just vote for anyone other than the three main parties.  It doesn't actually matter who, but a good showing for LPUK or Jury Team would be awesome.  Or BNP/UKIP to scare the establishment.  That would be fun!

Achtung! Appel! Recyclingzeit!

Look out Northamptonshire, the fucking Nazis are coming here.  Better get your recycling in order quicksharp or the council gas bills are going to be on the rise.

Recyclers this way! Free lentils and hemp dresses!

Non-recyclers that way!  You're going for a "shower!"

The aim is to encourage residents to recycle by identifying any barriers they face and answering any questions about recycling.

Barrier:  I don't give a flying fuck about recycling.
Question:  What the fuck do you think you can do about it?

I'd rather waste my time making sure that all of my rubbish has no identifying marks on it and leaving it in the middle of the road where you have a statutory duty to clear it up than waste my time sorting my shit into piles for you.

Recycle this, motherfuckers